Two months ago today my first child, my son Silas was born. I was scared and excited all at once to know that my wife was pregnant and now we are 2 months deep and it feels like yesterday she told me she was pregnant. So far it’s been a mix of things, but mainly its been joyful and frustrating. Joyful, because I could just look at him sleep or lay in his crib looking at his sheep and my heart just fills with joy. He doesn’t even need to do anything and whats more interesting is I don’t even know him. I don’t know his character and yet I love him to death. Frustrating, because I want to be a good father but there are times when he just cries…I changed his diaper, Natalie just fed him, he burped and his hands and feet don’t feel cold but he is just crying and all I want to do is help and I am utterly useless. In these early stages of his life I have trouble finding my role, that is besides being his burp buddy and being on diaper duty. I don’t know how to bond with him. I want to teach him so many things but I have to wait for now and I find myself on the bench waiting. I do love seeing my wife play mommy. She is already a great wife and it’s so good to see her growing into a strong and wise woman. I love these two and I look forward to getting to know them both more with every new chapter of our lives together.
I would go on but I have to get back to work. 🙂
Goodbye for now,
your brotha Paul.